People watching

Sometimes, in life, I get immense joy by simply watching the world around me. As I sit on the beach now I reflect on my relationships as I watch other ones around me (not creepily, I promise). 

It's enjoyable watching children run around without a care in the world. They try to catch the nearby seagulls, and build sandcastles, and scream when the waves hit their feet. I've always noticed that children are quite special. So innocent and intelligent. They truly see the world in a different way that most people don't. I hope I never lose that innocence. But their are always couples that walk the shore and share a blanket while laying under the sun's rays, and it makes me think about what girls love most in this world: to be loved unconditionally by a man who will be their knight in shining armor. 

Some things I know girls can live without, but secretly there are things that we really don't want to give up, but won't speak up so to all the men reading this, here are a few things you should strive to do and become:

1. Hold her hand in public. It's pretty simple and although you may not think it's a big deal or important any physical contact we have with you makes us feel like the only girl in the world. And continue to hold your wife's hand as you grow old together. There's nothing cuter than an older couple still holding hands. 

2. Send her flowers. Even if you love together, there's something so sweet and romantic about getting a bouquet of flowers from the man your head over heels for.  To us, they symbolize the fact that you think we're beautiful and that you're thinking about us.

3. Hold her. And I'm not just talking about when your watching a movie on the couch, no, I'm talking about in the most random time of the day; pull her into your arms or onto your lap and just hold her. It's another physical contact that makes us feel safe and important. 

4. Kiss her forehead. We love getting pecked on the cheek and on the lips, but the forehead is where it's at. I can't describe it for you but it's just beautiful. 

I guess part of me thinks that this list is what I want, but doesn't every girl just want someone that makes her happy? Believe me guys, us girls can live without these things, but you'd be considered something extraordinary if you did one of these:) 

Let the Healing begin

"Sometimes the healing is in the aching."

It really does hurt when you have to let someone go, and I think it just takes time to allow yourself to heal. Sometimes you have to start back over and remember the positive things about letting go..no matter how hard it is, you have to also let go of the negatives of losing this person. And in reality you never really lose that person; sometimes physically you do, but mentally you never have to rid that person from your mind. You can still remember all the memories you've shared and all the plans you had written down. Sometimes though, life throws you curveballs and we must either move out of the way or hit them into left field.

The tears I allowed to just stream down my face are now swept away. They help with the pain. I don't know if or when this pain and stinging will go away, but sometimes I don't think I want it to because it's still the only thing holding me to him. I'm hoping one day it'll come back to normal, maybe not completely the way things used to be, but back to the laughter and friendship. I think that's what I'm going to miss the most: having someone who completely cares for you and would just sit and hold you for as long as you needed. Sometimes you need to lose something in order to find what you have.

The Pretend Ones

Within the past few months I've become more aware of the people who I have surrounded myself with. I've become more aware of the fact that not all of them will help and support me through the rest of my life's journey, and that scares me. Not every person I talk to on a daily basis wants to make me better; some people just do it for show. That's makes me wonder: Why do it then? If you don't truly love and support your friends or family or coworkers or teammates, why pretend?

I've already learned once that you can't trust just anyone anymore. And that's why I evaluated every person I had surrounded myself with for the past 2 years, and I thought I was fine, but all it takes is one event, one moment in time to make you realize you were wrong. I don't think everyone around me cares about me as much as I originally thought, which is completely fine! In life not everyone will like you or trust you or help you; maybe this is just teaching me that fact before I leave this small world we call college. But being a psychology major I think about things a little deeper than usual and it makes me wonder why people pretend to be something they're not...

I think we're all victims of this. Pretending to be someone we truly aren't, but I don't think everyone does it on purpose. Sometimes certain situations arise where you have to act a different way or pretend for just a second you're something that you're really not. But then there are those people who do it on purpose. Those people are either people who are "people pleasers" and just want to be seen like a fabulous person by everyone or they just really don't care, but if you didn't care why would you still pretend? I have a few people that I have surrounded myself with that I know they are choosing to pretend because they can't get by without me; why? I have no idea, but for some reason I think they think that if they're on my "good side" then they're set! Well, that's not how it works in the real world, and I'm finally starting to see that. The sooner I can not care about what people think or say about me, the sooner I'll be happier with my life and the sooner I can surround myself with real people instead of pretend ones.